Why I Don’t Hate My Enemies

The short answer is I don’t have any. I had enemies when I was a soldier. I had enemies for quite a few years after I left military service as well. These days there is nobody in my life who rises to that level of, whatever it is that leads a person to hatred.

I am not saying that I get along with everybody. I have rivals and competitors opposition and people I just don’t like; but not in any way that might cause me to rise to hatred. I have discovered in my journey that the most effective way to resolve conflict is through relationships, good manners, a sense of the practical, and clear goals.

Hatred, to me, very generally means kill on sight (from a soldier’s perspective, anyway). Because we are not in civil war circumstances, hatred specifically means that you put a lot of time, energy, and resources into destroying that person or group. It means you take every opportunity to be violent and hurtful. It means disliking a person without even knowing them.

I read or heard many years ago that other people are not obstacles to us, they are catalyst for us in our own journeys. I don’t remember where I got this idea from. I have done searches on how I remember the quote and have been pointed to Marcus Aurelius. Even if I cannot recall where it came from, I have not forgotten the lesson.

I understand that not everybody sees the world the same way that I do. Some, because of their perspective, do not see things that are obvious to me. I have noticed on TikTok there is a lot of #FAFO content that points to an incomplete understanding of what the reelection of trump really means. I do understand that while the federal government is failing many people (which goes a long way in explaining how trump got reelected) the idea of blowing up the government will cause much more short-term harm than good. It even seems to be planned that way.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that this broad group of people whom I disagree with politically and socially are dumb (though it does not rule it out either), it simply means that we are viewing the same sets of circumstances from very different perches. I also surmise that there are other reasons for large groups of people to seemingly vote against their political and economic interest. People have a right to feel and think how they want to. I respect that. I still don’t have to agree.

I suppose I feel pity for people in general who don’t have a clear understanding of their own interests. To me it is an education issue. I know some people will be offended that I would like to teach them to understand their own interests. If that is the case then I advise that you seek companionship elsewhere. I also understand that some people will refuse to learn. That does not make them my enemy; it makes them someone I choose to avoid. In the end all I can really do is invite a person into conversation. Sometime talking to people you know you will not agree with is a radical act. I think we should all try it more often.