Don’t Trust the D— in DOGE

I used to watch a television show, a little over a decade ago, called Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23. The titular B—-, played by Kristen Ritter, was named Chloe and is described as hard-partying, irresponsible, freeloading and having the morals of a pirate. She is often portrayed torturing her roommate June (played by Dreama Walker), her best friend James Van Der Beek (played by James Van Der Beek), and James Van Der Beek’s assistant Luther (played by Ray Ford). The show was absurd, amoral, and very funny.

I recall an episode wherein the titular B—- walked into the offices of People magazine and started firing people. The remaining employees quickly and fearfully learned to do as they were told. The whole point of this little adventure was so the B—- could make a point with her friend/roommate.

I found this episode hilarious. It seemed a preposterous idea that a random person could walk into the offices of a major organization, start firing people, and then have their way with those left over. There was no way anything like that could happen in real life. I was wrong about that.

Enter the Department of Government Efficiency. A spectacle created by trump and his seeming master Elon Musk. I use the term spectacle because this organization has no authority to do the things it has done. It is not a government agency.

In the same way that trump has no authority to disband federal departments by executive order, DOGE has no authority to fire workers, offer pensions, or make determinations about the efficacy or necessity of federal government departments and their workers. Musk has assumed the role of the B—- in Apartment 23 and the federal government is playing the role of People magazine. All of this is happening on the basis of bluster and bullshit put forth by trump and Musk. Meanwhile, as people are put out of work (legitimately or not) and agencies are gutted, the media treats this like standard policy and governance.

By the end of the Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23 episode the workers who had originally been fired are informed that Chloe is not an employee and has no authority to fire them. They confront the B—- and take their positions back. I believe that, in time, most of the federal workers that have thus far been fired will get their jobs back. Justice is slow.

In the meantime we will sit back and wait for the federal government to revert to its mean. We will have plenty of time to survey the damage done by the dimwits associated with DOGE. Damage is their goal.

As for me, I realize that watching absurdist plots roll out on television can be fun. Watching those same plots roll out in real life is a bore. Though it does make me wonder what absurdist inspiration trump will take next.